For those of you who don't know, my mom passed away about a month ago. Today is her birthday, so I'm celebrating her life. I thought I'd post one of my favorite photos of her, as well as the remembrance I had my friend Jenn read at the memorial service. I hope it brings you a smile on this very special day. =)
Mom was my every day. We spoke at least once each day. She was my anytime and my any reason. Mom was the only place my VIP pass worked 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
In fact, a few days ago, I was desperately searching for a pink shirt to wear today. The last thing I wanted to be doing was clothes shopping. And a task I thought was going to take 15 minutes, quickly sucked up over an hour. I was so relieved when I finally stumbled onto a sweater that was the right color, I picked up the phone and dialed Mom to tell her of my success. The phone was already at my ear before I realized what I had done.
It seems like a silly story now that I write it, but, really, it speaks well to our relationship. Mom was, and always will be my best friend. She was the rock I depended on for any occasion, big or small… a major crisis or even just a minor triumph at the mall.
Of course, she wasn’t just handed that title of best friend. She earned it fair and square. Well, actually, I guess it wasn’t exactly fair. She did more for me than I could ever hope to give back to her.
She was the kind of mom everybody wanted. She made everything special. And she could do everything! I mean everything! Every year, she decorated birthday cakes that looked like works of art. She always knew the answers to my hardest math homework. She worried just the right amount, but never stood in front of our passions, she just asked us to call her when we were done. No achievement, big or small, slid by without a an accolade… and a special treat too. She always made the best team snacks. Every package under the Christmas tree was perfectly wrapped, even the tiny presents under the tree in my dollhouse. She’d stay up late with us whenever there was a monster school project to be finished. She reached out to our friends, and they all loved her as much as we did. And we always had the best Halloween costumes because she could sew anything we asked her to.
Well, okay, we ALMOST always had the best Halloween costumes. One year, she made us matching rainbow-striped clown outfits, complete with orange furry wigs and pointy hats with a giant fluff ball on top. That, was the only time I ever doubted her love for me.
But, I suppose if you make it through 31 years with a daughter, and the only time your love for her was ever doubted was because of a clown costume, I think you’ve probably got the best record out there in the Mom category.
Mom loved with every ounce of her being. The way my parents worked together to raise us, helped me understand the true meaning of devotion. I think the ultimate example of this was how long she fought cancer. Her doctors will tell you that she fought harder than most. She underwent surgeries and treatments that many wouldn’t even consider an option. These past 15 years have been a ceaseless battle for her. But, she never questioned it. She never flinched. She simply pushed on. And she did it for us. She knew we needed her, and that was all that mattered.
Having those extra years was a priceless gift. Although we spent much of the past 15 years in medical offices and hospitals, we still managed to rack up a ton of fantastic memories. Even in her last run of chemo, Mom and I had a great time. We’d get hours to share in a hospital bed together talking and watching TV… just enjoying each other’s company.
Of course, it’s easy for me to look back fondly on that time… I wasn’t the one having poison pumped into my body. But, you know, she never complained about the discomfort. She just smiled and said, “I’m so glad we have this time together.”
That’s just how she was. She could smile through anything. And that smile of hers always brought out the best in those around her. I’ve said a number of times that Mom is a magnet for good people, and looking around the beautiful Crystal Cathedral today, that has never been more evident.
In her final days, we had many wonderful conversations. I did a lot of the talking, but I knew when she was with me on something and when she wasn’t. One thing we did discuss a number of times was the community that we’ve been blessed with.
We talked about the amazing friends and family in our lives. We talked about the overwhelming support we’ve received over the years. And we talked about the comfort she could take in the fact that we’ll always have this incredible extended family to keep an eye on us from down here, while she is keeping an eye on us from up there. I told her that I’d never be able to get away with anything ever again because she has too many people on her team down here… and she smiled brightly.
Mom had so many positive facets, I’m sure we could all stand up today and talk for hours about the impact she had on our lives. She was just that kind of person. An amazing friend, a loving wife, a devoted mother and a hero to so many. She had it all, and we are all better off for having had her in our lives.
In the days ahead, I’m going to do my best to honor her strength and courage. Although I know we are all saddened by our own loss, we can find peace in knowing that she has left the pain of this world behind, and moved on to her well-deserved place in heaven. We have shared a lifetime of blessings together and you can’t ask for much more than that.
My brother was gracious enough to let me be the one to share my thoughts about Mom today, but I know I speak for both of us, as well as my father, when I say that we are so uplifted by the outpouring of love and support. We simply can’t thank you enough. It has been the ultimate example of just how inspiring Mom has been to so many people.
Let’s continue her legacy together. Keep hope in your hearts and share your smile often. If we can all keep a little bit of Sandee in our every day lives, I think we’ll be doing pretty darn good.
Thank you.
I know it's a little late (one day I will not lag so hard with posting stuff) but I thought I'd post the thank you e-mail I sent out after this year's Relay, just in case it didn't make it to your inbox...
(added bonus: i didn't have to pay shipping, or put the cabinets together! i just had to con my dad into driving up to LA for one and down to san clemente for the other. good ol' dad.)
